Madame’s Top 10 Ass Kicking Fart Fuels!
“I’m too old to be farting around with stuff that isn’t precisely what I want to do.”
– Wes Borland
I do not keep it hidden. I love food and I love farts! I love playing around with My diet, trying out different things in different ways, at different times to see how what kind of effect they have on My body (really, just trying to see how gassy I get.) I use this method a lot to prepare My body for whenever I’m having some one-on-one time with some fart sucker.
Farts aside, it is good to know your body and important that you know what works for and what does not work for you. Staying in tune with your body will help you discover any concerns that you should most likely have addressed. Now, with that out of the way, let’s get to My list!
In no order, here are My top 10 favorite fart fuels!
- BBQ Super Hawaiian pizza from Papa John’s
- McDouble with extra onions
- Burger King Onion Rings
- Fresh Broccoli (bonus if it has a cheese sauce)
- Fiber bars (especially the lemon bars!)
- Cheap beer (it’s the high life baybay!)
- Lactose from dairy products (fuck Me up cheese)
- My amazing roasted brussels sprouts dish with olive oil
- Fresh salad- the more toppings the better!
- Hard boiled eggs
You notice how beans aren’t on the list?
That’s because I eat a ridiculous amount of beans weekly. The only thing they do for Me is make Me fat and happy. Maybe one day I’ll abstain from My bean eating ways for a week and see how that works out for Me and My G.I..
Wishful thinking on your part, highly doubtful on Mine…. not without an enticing tribute that’s triple digit worthy anyway…
Now that I’ve shared with y’all about 10 of My favorite ass kicking fart fuel, it’s time for you to spill the beans!
What foods make you gassy?
Do you have any times of the month that leave you feeling more gassy than others?
I always know when I’m getting close to My menstruation, everything makes Me gassy and the things that normally make Me gassy, give Me super farts. A true fart suckers favorite time of the month.
Leave Me a comment and tell your Madame all about your own fart fuel or what one you would love to sniff after I’ve chowed it all down.
